My 8 Favorite Tooters

Because I haven’t found my niche/passion/thing/whatever yet, I don’t have a very focused agenda for using Twitter.  When I get my poop in a group, I’ll be a bit more focused, but right now, I’m just there for the lolz.

These Tooters bring the lolz.  They’re my absolute favorites, and you should check them out.

1.  @CcSteff-probably my all-time favorite Tooter.  Raunchy and sassy and geeky.  Gawds I love her.

• I don’t know how those guys got on the roof of the building next door, but now they know what my surpriseface looks like. Plus my tits.
• Celebrating Natl Day of Prayer by shitting all over religious beliefs. Because a bad idea is a bad idea no matter how old and dearly held.
• Niece pops up from behind a chair and says “Here I am.” Teaching her to follow it up with “Rock you like a hurricane.”

2.  @hotdogsladies-Merlin Mann of 43 Folders fame. His humor is often self-depracating, other times, it’s aimed at people doing dumb things.  Also, you feel smarter after reading Merlin for awhile.

• Joining a Facebook group about creative productivity is like buying a chair about jogging.
• Every time I pipe into a shell script without generating an error, I feel like a chimp who’s just learned he accidentally landed a jet.
• Whenever I consider studying C, mastering RegEx, or learning basic Cantonese, I remember that I still don’t know how water gets in my house.

3.  @phyllisstein-Describes himself as “UChicago student and old-guard queer running on gin and disdain.”  I love snarky humor, and phyllisstein is as snarky as it gets.

• “Sir, I believe I would like to use your wang for to pole-vault with.” I don’t flirt much.
• My University is preparing to quarantine students suspected of having swine flu and I have some suspiciously porcine bitches to turn in.
• On a train to the Chicago burbs. It looks like a Lane Bryant exploded in here.

4.  @mindykaling-The actress who played Kelly Kapoor on The Office.  Flippin’ hilarious.

• It’s like when you’re at the edge of the roof and you’re like: “I could just jump, it’d be so easy!” Bad, self-destructive Mindy!!
• too many spiders in my bed.
• ate handful of wasabi peas, then rubbed my eyes. fuuuuuuck.

5.  @badbanana-lots of business jokes about meetings and lunch.  Very droll and funny.

• He’s right, of course. @jordan327 says my previous post would have been funnier with “Paris Hilton’s Dignity”. So everyone block @jordan327.
• Madonna gets thrown by a horse and the next thing you know 21 polo ponies are killed at a match. Message received.
• Some men prefer Betty. Others, Wilma. Then there are those of us who keep eyeing all the huge dinosaur steaks.

6.  @redrabbit-sometimes crazy, sometimes spazzy.  Always a good read, and she’s trying to do puns.

• “Copywriting” I accomplished today: “Erica, is ‘goatfuck’ one word or two?”
• Consider this copy wrought.
• I wish Barack Obama were here. He’d know what to do.

7.  @phillygirl-every single one of her Toots makes me smile.

• Lady across the aisle copied down the item number of the talking lawn alligator from the SkyMall catalog like she’d found her golden fleece.
• Yeah, it has been a hectic morning, how did you…? Oh. That nacho just fell out of my shirt, didn’t it?
• When your dog is 80 lbs., giving her a bath is a full-contact sport. And now neither one of us has to worry about fleas & ticks for a while.

8.  @rainnwilson-The actor who played Dwight Schrute on The Office.  Very funny.

• I just don’t understand why my urine still tastes like wasabi!!!???!???
• Waitress: ‘Do u have any questions about the menu?’ Me: ‘What kind of font is this?’
• I told @sarahksilverman that she had nice ‘joobs’.

Who do you follow for the funny on Twitter?  Let’s hear ‘em!