And The Dumbass Of The Week Award Goes To…Wulfgar!

I’ve just had one of those things that thankfully, you’re reading about on my blog, and NOT reading about in today’s newspaper.

So, backstory; I’ve been feeling a bit overwhelmed by humanity lately, so I’ve started thinking of Sundays as “Solitude Sundays”. I hang out by myself, do things on my own, and generally try to stay away from the family and everyone else. It helps to recharge my batteries.

Yesterday, on Solitude Sunday, I found myself with some extra time, and I didn’t want to go home yet, so I decided to drive down to Park Point and watch the lake.

Park Point is a very long and narrow promontory that runs parallel to Lake Superior. You can drive about half way, and park in the Duluth Airport Authority parking lot.

When I got out there, I jumped out of the truck, and walked out to the beach. It was very nice, and good for my batteries. :)

Then I noticed far down the beach, on the part that you can’t drive on, there was a guy with a dog, and they were playing fetch. I watched them for a while, and then looking past them, noticed a couple of lighthouses. It didn’t occur to me that I could see the lights on the lighthouses because it was approximately 6p, and the shadows were getting a bit long.

“Ya know,” says I, “I’ve walked down there a few times, but I’ve never walked all the way out to the end and back. It’s a nice evening and an easy walk. Why don’t I give it a try?”

And with that, I started walking down the beach. For those playing the home game, please note this as “The Defining Moment Of Dumbassery”.

Well, Park Point is a lot longer than I remembered; approximately 6km out to the end, from the airport. And I’m one of those people who says to himself, “I’m almost there, I can’t quit now!”

This all resulted in me standing out on the furthest pier (with a good arm, you can literally throw a rock and hit Wisconsin Point, IN ANOTHER STATE), at the end of Park Point, at 830p, in the dark.

I had no flashlight, no water, no food, and no way of being rescued that didn’t involve the Coast Guard and a long, embarrassing night. I also had nowhere to sleep, and at least a half-day of missed work if I chose to stay and wait for daylight.

I hadn’t eaten in many hours, and I already worked up a sweat getting out there. My blood sugar was very low, and I didn’t have much energy for walking back.

I was, as they say, effed.

Knowing that I DIDN’T want to end up as tomorrow’s front page fool, I decided to walk out. I gobbled a handful of mints that I had stuck in my jacket (thanks F-baum!), picked up a cool-looking staff that was laying on the ground where I sat, and started hobbling towards my truck.

At first I walked along the beach, because I was afraid of getting lost in the woods. Park Point is criss-crossed with trails, and I didn’t want to make a wrong turn. Soon though, the sand and rocks had me sore and huffing, so I had to sit and rest.

My only other option was the trail through the woods, but that would mean feeling my way along in pitch-black silence. Good thing I had the staff. It helped as I used it like a blind person’s walking cane, preventing me from tripping over trees and getting whacked in the face with branches.

I had to backtrack a few times because I lost the trail, but eventually I saw the lights of the runway for the airport, and I breathed a sigh of relief.

So, I slowly climbed into the truck around 11p I think, and drove home.

I got very lucky on this one. Lesson’s learned?

1. It doesn’t matter if you can see civilization a half-mile away, you can still be lost or injured and in real trouble.
2. If you decide to go off on an adventure, take stock of what you have, and fix anything you’re short on, BEFORE trotting off into the woods. Some food, water, and a flashlight would have made all the difference.
3. Tell someone where you are. I decided against calling Blackie because I was still trying to maintain my “solitude”. Once I figured out I was in trouble, only then did I call. But by then it was too late.

Learn from my mistake people!

Regards,